by Kirill Danilchenko alias Ronin for Petr&Mazepa

And now, folks, Ronin will take you by the hand and give you a tour across the countries friendly with the RF.

Branches of the „Fallout“ in the real world.

Every winter we hear the voices of the specially trained people from across the border who – in between the virtual gas cut-offs and the threats to repeat Aleppo in Kyiv – try to understand why their brothers turned their backs on them, what this language of hatred is all about and why Ukrainians pop champagne when a military orchestra pays a visit to Neptune.

The same bunch of purpose-oriented people join into the choir on the Ukrainian side – Savchenko sees nothing „demonic“ about Zakharchenko and Plotnitsky, Pinchuk signalizes that a part of the business community wouldn’t mind to take the issue with Crimea off the table and turn down the approach on course towards the EU and NATO in order to exchange the low-intensity war for semi-legal personal profits from the gas dependency, some clowns sing good old soviet songs at train stations and suggest having a unifying breakfast at the border.

The idea is being actively promoted that there has never been a good war or a bad peace and we should recommence the trade with wagons and tasty cheeses in order to forget the trade wars, occupation and the deaths of ten thousand people – all for the sake of the country, the peace and the future of our children.

Well, let’s take a magnifying lens and take a closer look at what is happening to the states, territories and the people who believed in our northern neighbours. They have welcomed the „Russian world“, the prosperity and the future of their children.

South Ossetia

The population in 1989 is 98.000 people. As the result of resting under the shade of friendly bayonets, direct injections of huge amounts from the federal funds of the RF and the development of the tourist industry, the Ossetians were counted to be about 53.000 people during the last population census in 2015. Within 20 years, one third of the population have died, moved away or fled from the war or the effective managers being all fingers and thumbs – a sheer catastrophe.

The major works for vibrating machines is now producing dumpsters; about one thousand people all together are occupied in the industrial sector. The „republic“ has no airfield or ambulance aviation, but there are tasty pasties and excellent knock-off vodka. The Financial aid from the RF is 89,7% of the state budget, 25% of the population live off corodies and benefits, the average pay in Tskhinvali used to be 7.000 Russian rubles (approx. €160) in 2013.

A desolate and an infernal scene, ruled by the clans, which are controlling flows of scrap metal and illegal alcohol deals, petrol and tobacco trafficking. Remember that, if Russians come to you to protect the language of yours from the fascists, you are most likely going to flee or to pop off in the garbage pit. The TV is not going to be in any help.

A graffiti saying „Thank you, Russia“. Don’t mention it, honey-bunnies. At some point, we might even send you some folkloric ensemble with a show to keep your spirits lifted:

Abkhazia

The population of Abkhazia was 525.000 people in 1989. After 25 years of friendship with Russia, military help from unknown pilots and the formation of a tourist industry, pen-pushers counted the record-breaking number of 250.000 citizens during the census of 2014.

What was I saying about the catastrophe in South Ossetia? Cancel it and write down Abkhazia. All the major power plants, besides the Inguri hydroelectric dam, were destroyed or are out of order and the half of the produced electricity is being given to the Georgians for the dam itself and the half of the only operating hydroelectric station is on their territory. The device production plant in Sukhumi was abolished and plundered, the precast concrete factories and the workshops in Gadauta were shut down, the brickwork stands idle.

Half of the railroad network was scuttled and cut off electricity – the railway traffic through the „republic“ has not been reconstructed since 1992, with the airplanes landing in the Georgian Senaki for inspections. 90% of the export goods are fruits, unprocessed lumber, citrus crops and coal. The Financial aid from the RF is up to two thirds of the state budget, the situation with the retirement pensions and the salaries is critical, the average pay in 2014 was 7.800 rubles ($145). Petrol is being delivered by sea from Turkey, no GDP or unemployment data is available for the statistics is the prostitute of the imperialism. With a bit of additional nuclear radiation one would get a perfect „Fallout“ panorama – not so long ago the power cutoffs in the evening were held on daily basis, one can see burnt down carcasses of the hotels over cities even 25 years later.

Photo: Palm-trees, the sea and good people – what else would you need for well-being? For example, keeping of the butterfingers from the Russian world.

The occupied territory of Donetsk and Luhansk regions

The living hell, a circus on wheels and the Somalia of the Eastern Europe. From over four million of population on the occupied territories, about two million fled to Ukraine and the RF. The damned half or one third of the horror-stricken population collect their belongings and get lost from any territory that Mother-Russia comes to – from Transnistria to Syria. It must be something with the hands that can only generate blood and crap.

You never know whether you should weep or laugh talking about L/DPR – only here, they can blow up Mozgowoj and erect a memorial in his name, live off 4.800 rubles (€75) (seriously, go to the Employment Service website of Gorlovka) but promise to win. Only here they can travel to Ukraine to receive social benefits but dream to take control of Bakhmut.

Phimotic foreskin of the country that stuck its collective head into the TV set three years ago. It is pointless to describe the amount of torn down factories, closed companies and the absolute lawlessness – only in Donetsk they can poke the heads of decapitated people floating in ponds, hang the leaders of the neighbouring „republics“ in holding cells and blow up counsellors from the RF after an assassination attempt on wives of local vatniks.

Photo: I don’t know how many cars Zakharchenko grabbed to hold of, but taxi drivers in Donetsk drive Porsche – invest your money into the „young republic“

That’s about what it looks like, folks. That’s what happens when you believe Russia. In Russia itself, the GDP drop-off has reached $900 bln. – a 1,7-fold drop-off; over 3 trillion rubles vaporized from the federal reserve funds only in 2016. It didn’t take millions of refugees, 6 waves of mobilization and the 7th hidden wave of non-regular mobilization and city-targeted bombings like in Ukraine – just a few sanctions, vivifying prices on fossil fuels and that’s it – the empire snuffed out and stalled. It’s worth taking a look on whether the Russians have been jumping on squares of their cities willing to move towards Europe and overthrow their Tsar, because they say that only a Maidan can have such a devastating effect on the economy.

Let’s sum up the results

The Crimea residents believed in Russian propaganda, blocked the Ukrainian military bases, yelled „Putin, enter“ – and now, three years later, the Russian Sberbank is still not operating in Crimea, Russia’s phone providers fall out in roaming, while Ukraine, which was supposed to slaughter all the Russian-speakers, still imports one third of all the goods to the peninsula. The export and import in Crimea fell by 11 times – times-fold from to 40mln from 905 million dollars in 2013. After three years of occupation, in 2016, Yalta’s residents were being urged to save electricity, two thirds of the external lights went dark, thermoelectric power stations are being run with diesel generators, the trackless trolley buses are being taken off traffic. The engineering bridge to Kerch has been being built fort two years now, its costs have been raised exponentially, everybody is pulling, but nothing is moving – this time, it’s due to the lack of contractors. And it doesn’t matter that the highest in the RF – and one of the highest in Europe – skyscraper is being built in Chechnya; in Crimea, the problems with water supplies and soil salination are being ignored – you, guys, keep up holding on!

People of the L/DPR believed in the propaganda of the RF, brought the conflict to escalation, yelled „Putin, put boots on the ground!“ – what they got three years later is extreme poverty, millions of refugees and the elites of toothless thugs in charge of car bomb attacks on border crossings and non-judicial murders in prison cells. Not even the primary initiator of the conflict has recognized them!

After 3 years, in order to go abroad, you need to go to Kyiv, people have to travel 250km to receive their pensions and Ukrainian banks have been demolished to scrap metal together with their local branches, even though the Russian banks don’t hurry to enter yet. If Plotnitky’s deceased parents have lived in the RF and the wife of the deceased Pavlov was registered in Ukraine together with the children – what was the purpose of this bloodshed? Why not just going to Russia or being registered in Ukraine?

Photo: Memorial to Mozgovoj. A Russian citizen assassinated in LPR by the Russian PMC of „Wagner“

The Syrian authorities believed in Russia, wrecked negotiations, yelled „Putin, put boots on the ground!“ – one million casualties, every third citizen is a refugee, the cities are in ruins. 74% of the territory is in the hands of the rebels, the Kurds or the IS, the families of the perished get a platter or a plastic watch, the economy is dying – East Aleppo has been erased from off the face of the earth, Turkey is running the show in the North, Palmyra needs to be reconquered with an orchestra and flourish for the second time, a gas plant has been blown up, major hydroelectric plants were lost. One can keep the votership occupied with the remote for a while, but it is getting clearer with every day that the Russian Afghanistan 2.0 has already begun – together with the fallen officers in command of the flak missile regiments and battalion commanders of assault combat battalions. And the victory is still as distant as it was before bringing troops into the country and the fall of Idlib.

This is the exact reason why we keep doing our bit – just a while ago, the trade share with the RF was over 36%, but it was only 8% in 2016 and still falling. This is one of the main goals of our generation. Even without the war, putting all eggs in the same basket with the imbecile state with its constant „black Tuesdays“, demolitions of the White House, imprisonments of Khodorkovsky, putting itself under sanctions and conflicts 4000km away is like entrusting a key from a vault to a rhesus macaque – it is either going to break it or lose it. And if you recall that Russia put $300 bln. into its treasure pot and invested $90 bln. in the financial credit documents of the US than things get even more interesting. For my own part, I don’t even want to ease myself at the same place with the regime telling stories about the aggressive block of NATO and investing in its driving force while people in the villages of L/DPR keep dying of starvation. Well, what should one invest their money into? Obviously, not in Tskhinvali, where the streets are still in ruins, not in Sukhumi with its railway without electricity, not in Donetsk, where factories are being shredded for metal scrap – only into the credit papers of the US treasury, of course.

Photo: Transnistria. Wait for 30 years until the RF invests 100 bln. into the US treasury and come up trumps.

And that’s why we don’t believe the specially trained people with their breakfasts at the border and journalists telling us how the West is tired. We would love to stop this damned war, but it doesn’t work out so far. You have to persuade us. You claim that Zakharchenko and Plotnitsky are not demons? Well, have you sent your parents to a spa resort in Snizhne or bought the shares of the central market in Donetsk? You think that we should put the Crimea issue aside and conduct elections before the cessation of fire? Very good, but don’t write about it in the blogs of the US news-papers, just get into your German 7 series car and go campaigning somewhere in the north of Khartsyzsk, just be careful at the crossing where Bushuev was blown to pieces. We will raise our economy while they will be fighting for a piece of bread – but have your children quit their studying in Switzerland, have you withdrawn your money from Cyprus, do you spend your holidays in Zatoka?

Zero tolerance for the storytellers. As far as I am concerned, I am only ready to listen about peace (in fact – not) from people, who have to put plastic foil instead of glass into their windows, get food packages and worry about getting their children out of the red zone. For all the rest, there is a simple marker-question. Have you already realized at least for yourself, why Belarusian export volumes to Russia fall faster than the import from there and why Russia knocks down the markets of its neighbours during conflicts? No? Get screwed. Are you saying that the sanctions are going to be lifted soon and we’ll become friends again, but you haven’t yet bought real estate in Yalta or Gadauta? Get screwed. You love the „Russian world“, but you live in Kiev in order not to see, how a militia-woman Sasha is poking a head in the Kalmius river with a stick? Get screwed. We just have to wait a bit and everything will be fine again? 30 years like in Tskhinvali or 30 years like in Sukhumi? Get screwed.

Are you dissatisfied with the tariff rates or the „utility genocide“ in Ukraine? Take a look at the rates in Abkhazia, South Ossetia or L/DPR, they are perfect, just tell me and I will buy you a ticket for my own money. Are you fed up with the Ukrainian language, constant protests and political instability? Go to Donetsk, bro, and if you survive, you will have a perfect chance to learn Chechenian or Abkhazian. All kinds of whims for your money – you can let your children study in the best private schools of Tiraspol, buy a majority stake in the mines of Horlivka, invest into a kebap wrap kiosk in Tskhinvali, build a hotel in Feodosia, spend your holidays in Sedovo. And if you sit in a cozy chair in the suburbs of Kiev or a villa in Austria, play smart from an office in St. Petersburg and recreate in Thailand while beating my ears with the „Russian world“, „reconciliation for the sake of future“ and „breakfast at the border“ – get screwed, ya stupid monkey.

Author: Kirill Danilchenko for Petr&Mazepa, translated by Volodymyr Cernenko for InformNapalm.

(Creative Commons — Attribution 4.0 International — CC BY 4.0 )

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